The Price Of A Life
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: This is just a short fic about how Horatio felt reflecting back on what Archie did for him and how Archie felt in his dying moments… Plus Horatio finds comfort in an unexpected last message from Archie. Please READ & REVIEW


The Price of a Life… 

**Please READ and REVIEW. I'm REALLY desperate for reviews on this story now lol. This is the first short fic I have written and I would REALLY like to know what you think of it so I can improve any short fics I write in the future. I haven't had a single review for this fic yet…**

**This is just a short fic about how Horatio felt reflecting back on what Archie did for him and how Archie felt in his dying moments… Plus Horatio finds comfort in an unexpected last message from Archie. **

It had taken Horatio a long time to accept Archie's last parting gift to him after his death. Even a man about to lose his life could normally take pride in the knowledge that his good name should continue to live on long after his demise… but Archie had paid the ultimate price for his loyalty.

_He could not leave his friend behind with the knowledge that the threat of the hangman's noose may soon be upon him. He was dying… he knew that. As the hours ticked by he grew colder and the world around him became a darker and more distant place. He knew he could do one last thing for the friend who had saved the lives of himself and those around him several times over already, and would risk his life again to defend the honour of his captain, and the country that he served so loyally…but ironically he knew would also stand up before a panel of distinguished officers the very next morning, one of them one of his closest friends and mentor, and refuse to save his own life. _

_Archie had never been a hero, he knew that, and though recognising that this would surely be the ruin of his character he knew that this was the one truly heroic thing he had left to offer… and this time there would be nothing Horatio could do about it – by the time he found out, the deed would be done. He had spoken about it to Mr Bush on several occasions and was always met with the same sceptical response:_

_"He won't like it Mr Kennedy."_

_"Well the way I see it, he doesn't have a choice in the matter."_

_"He'll find out eventually, you can't keep it from him forever… you can't expect me to keep it from him forever."_

_"It won't be for forever… Swear to me you won't tell him!" Archie had said, struggling to his feet, his mind as intact as ever, frustrated by the weakness of his broken and failing body, "By tomorrow it'll be done, there'll be no going back, not for him, not for me… Sir this is all I have left, let me do this one last thing… for the good of my country!"_

_… And Mr Bush had reluctantly agreed! Well, Archie thought with a smile as he rose the next morning with help of Doctor Clive, getting changed into the uniform he had spent too long without, and knew he was destined to never wear again, dying had it's advantages._

_…And then it was done, his final purpose had been for filled. People had wondered why it was that he had lived so long, drowning in his own blood, after sustaining such a wound that by rights should have killed him already. Had he been saved for a reason he had wondered? Some great purpose beyond his comprehension? And now he realised… he's death had only been postponed so he could save the life of a friend, and now it was done he was finally free to die… if not in glory than at peace with himself._

Horatio kept going over what Pellew had told him the day that he had come in to find him yet again sitting at Archie's empty bedside. "He saw his duty and did it." What duty was this though? To what end had he sacrificed his honourable name? So that a friend may carry on his career without a stain to his character? Somehow news of his promotion had seemed overshadowed by the pain of losing such a close and courageous ally. He hadn't eaten properly in those days proceeding Archie's death, and after had refused all further offers of sustenance… he knew people had been afraid, afraid of his motives for starving himself in such a way. He had suspected that was the reason why Pellew had sought him out the day before Archie's funeral, but he had just needed time to deal with this in his own way. Especially as there were things that he knew that nobody else could even begin to understand. Nearly a year on now and enjoying a solitary moment below deck he propped himself up in his hammock and pulled a small and rather crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. He smiled as he recognised the well-rounded scrawl of Archie's handwriting and began to unfold the note.

_My Dear Horatio,_

_I know it will pain you as much as it pains me to have to say goodbye so soon. We have lived for the moment and the honour to have served with you has been all mine. I wouldn't have missed it for a moment, and if I could have lived another ten years without knowing you I would rather that my life end here. I want you to know that what I have done I have done for you, not because of you, and if you want to remember me just don't look back. Reflect on me and the good times we shared once in a while when you can spare me a moment, but live life with no regrets. I am giving you the second chance we all know you deserve. My body is broken, every second that ticks by I know that I am closer to death but I want you to know that I am not afraid, and I feel no pain, accept for the pain of having to leave behind all that we have shared. All I can offer you now is the security of your unmarked name, honour is meaningless when you are no longer around to care what people think and so by the time you read this you will be a free man, and I will be able to rest knowing that what I have done was right and true. My biggest regret is that I will never get to see you excel in your career as I know you surely shall, I knew you were destined for great things since I first met you, and now you must carry on and keep fighting for what we all believe in. I shall always be with you, if not in body than in spirit._

_Goodbye and good luck my dear friend,_

_Archie Kennedy._

Horatio sat in silence for a moment reading over the letter again and again just as he had so many times before in the year since he had found it, hidden inside one of his coat pockets a couple of days after Archie had died. Shocked and angry at first, these emotions had soon given into grief, and eventually, as the wounds healed and the pain began to fade it had become one of his most precious positions.

"Commander… commander," he heard a voice calling him from above, "your needed on deck sir."

Horatio took one long hard look around the room he occupied and smiled, even after a year in the position the responsibility that had been assigned to him still hadn't sunk in.

"Thank you Archie." Horatio whispered before getting up and making his way back up towards deck. He fancied he heard his friend reply in the howl of the wind, and the rushing of the grey waves, reflecting the blue of the clear skies above. As he set foot on deck he knew that this was where he was truly needed… was where he belonged and was most happy… and he no longer needed time to remember his dear friend, but to do exactly as Archie had desired, to not look back but keep facing forwards towards the future, and to continue living his life as he had started… with no regrets.


End file.
